The other day, I was getting ready for work when my wife made one of those classic “I’ll never say that when I’m a parent” remarks. She had rediscovered a dirty article of clothing, twisted up and strewn out in the hallway like day-old roadkill, when it just popped out: “I’VE LITERALLY TOLD (Insert Child Name) TO PICK THAT UP 1,000 TIMES!” In my distorted dad brain (scientifically proven), two thoughts immediately jumped into my head. Luckily neither escaped my lips – which is made obvious by the fact that my wife didn’t kill me on the spot and I’m here to blog about it instead.

First thought: That thought quickly became far too abstract for 7:00 AM Dad thinking, hence thought #2:

Remember my preface: this is that zone of twisted Dad thinking where work and home collide. You see, at the office of late, I’m constantly inundated with social media topics like: Likes (Facebook), Tweets (Twitter), and Badges (Foursquare). Foursquare, for the under-aware, is Wiki-defined as follows: a location-based social networking website based on software for mobile devices. This service is available to users with GPS-enabled mobile devices, such as smartphones. Users “check-in” at venues and each check-in awards the user points and sometimes “badges”.

Basically you earn badges on Foursquare when you show up somewhere or accomplish stuff. And who goes more places and accomplishes more than “stay-at-home” moms? Nobody is the correct answer.

So here’s to you Moms (and S.@.H. dads) – the first in a series of suggested Foursquare badges dedicated to the weary, the peed on, and the all-around super glue that holds homes together: